A year of closure, loss, and life

So it seemed that my year was to get closure on friendships. Either bad or good.

The beginning of the year started sadly with the death of my ex boyfriend, Joe, his brother, John. Joe was my first serious boyfriend from the age of 16 to 20. I need to briefly tell you that he has a HUGE family, baby of 6, with 4 brother-in-laws, and a sister-in-law, not to mention 7 nieces and nephews and 2 great nieces. When I left him, it was almost harder to leave the family.

When I met Ed I realized that the boy I had been in love with for over 4 years, was not what I needed to be happy for the rest of my life. Ed was. Joe and I spoke after we broke up occasionally for about 6 months, but we moved on and I haven't seen him or his family for at least 7 years. Until I showed up at his brothers wake last February. Let me tell you I just about threw up before I walked in that door. I had no idea if his sisters were still mad, or maybe 7 years was enough to forgive me for breaking there baby brothers heart.

I barely made it through the door with out being hugged and welcomed with open arms. I think it meant a lot that I showed up. Even though it was a horrible place and time in there lives, and as greedy as this may sound, to me it was closure that they didn't hate me, they were still close as ever, and to see that Joe and his wife Julie were happy was what I needed.

The craziest thing is that the nieces and nephews that were just kids in grade school, were now graduating high school, and so BIG! The best part was they all remembered me. They sat around and told me stories that even I had forgotten, and his sisters all said they still have a ton of pictures of me.

This was probably the best closure I had all year.

There were others, with some old friends that were unfinished. Either I had, or they had contacted me (thank god for MySpace) and we said what was never said, but needed to be.

The loss was of 2 of our closest family members. Pumpkin Harry Carugati (Punkie), a 21 year old, male, orange and white cat. My parents bought him when I was only 9 years old. Even though he lived such a long and happy life it was still sad to see him go.

And Lady Citgo Carugati (Citgo) a black and white, very large female cat. My dad rescued from the Citgo plant. She was very loving every minute and knew how lucky she was to be with my parent. Sadly they only had 5 years with her, the abuse and life style she had before us caught up to her.

The life was a few things to me.

The great life that I get to watch my parents enjoy, living out in there wooded acre, retired, and enjoying everyday of there life together.
The life of my daughter growing everyday. She amazes me every time I turn around, she just gets more beautiful and smarter.
And of course the life, Ed and I have started with Alexander Edward, who will be making his grand entrance sometime at the end of April.

Hopefully you all had the kind of year you wanted. Or are making plans to grow and learn from the past year and move forward, with a happy and healthy year. Have a safe night. And Happy New Year 2008!!

Happy New Year!

Holy cow in just a few hours 2007 will be over. I have a hot date with Ed, he gets off work from the video store at 9:00 and doesn't have to work at his night job. We have an appetizer of taco dip (my mom made us yesterday) and for dinner, I am making pork tenderloin, seasoned in peppercorn. Cooking slowly in the crock pot with cream of mushroom soup. Also cooking along with the pork tenderloin are small whole potatoes, green beans and mushrooms. My house smells so yummy right now!

After dinner we have a hot date of watching Oceans 13, and off to bed. Yeah!! What a great night to be in. (We are getting lots of snow!)

Alex was angry, and Ed is cut off

Alex was very angry, kicking and flipping around all morning, having those damn monitors strapped to me is what makes him mad. And since he is still tiny and can move so much, they put one on each side of my tummy to watch him.

Why did I have monitors on all morning? Only because I woke up at 8:30 this morning to find myself bleeding, so I had the Dr. paged, and he wanted me to go up to St. Joe's Birthing Suites to check me out.

Alex is fine. Kicking like a soccer player, heartbeat normal. My blood pressure is great, temp great. Dr. Quell came in to give me an exam. O.U.C.H. That sucked so bad! Using the usual plastic duck bill to shove up me, crank it open to what feels like 6" wide, and I counted 8, 15" Qtip swaps to clean out the blood and whatever else.

Oh yeah the reason why, I was still freaked, but I had a good idea that the sex Ed and I had at 6:30 this morning is what did it. Dr. Quell said I am just very sensitive there, so sad to say we are cut off from any booty calls until I see Dr. again in a few weeks.

This I may tell you is not just on Ed. I am unlike most pregnant women, I can't keep my paws off him. So this is sad news for both of us. We decided that we would hold off on sex until after the baby is born. We were just afraid of hurting him, or making the cervix bleed anymore. Plus there is another 6-8 weeks after the baby. But it's nice that this was Ed's idea, and we just don't need anymore hospital runs, and scary incidents.

End of story, no more sex. Mom and Alex are OK. I am on light rest for the rest of the day (per Dr. no housework, no picking up Mia, just relax all day) I have a lot of business work I have to do, so I guess today will be the day to do it! Oh and for the record, this is the second time in 9 years Ed has called into work. (He was supposed to be at the video store from 11-7)

Lots of shit in one post

So I have lots to talk about, and I don't wanna have like 15 posts. So I will try to make sense when I ramble...



Christmas a day early

Ed and I thought that since he was off both jobs Sunday, and we were home ALL day, we would do our family Christmas then. Yea! It was fun, we enjoyed opening our presents from each other, and watching Mia enjoy hers. I got Ed, a brown hooded sweatshirt, new tennis shoe, Drakkar cologne, Pirates 3 & Oceans 13 DVD's, lots of his favorite Axe body wash.

He got me a gift card for Panera Bread, Barnes and Noble, and $50 to spend on my new Stampin' Up! catalog! AND a Cricut!! (Scrapbooking machine)

We got Mia a Fisher Price interactive zoo mat with 26 animals, each starting with a different letter. Very cool. A Shrek baby girl, the purple Boobah, and I think every Sesame Street character stuffed doll ever made. (except for the yup, yup, yup monsters)



Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve is always celebrated with Ed's family, at his grandparents house. Sadly the party started at 4pm and Ed had to work at the video store until 6pm. Good news is we just missed dinner (they left the food out for us!) Then Santa (my father in law) comes and hands out presents. Loren brought his guitar and we all sang Christmas songs. Then we play the gift stealing swap game. By then it is 11:30 at night, and we all don't get to bed until wee into Christmas morning. All the girls get the same gift, and so do the boys from Gramma and Grampa, $50 and slippers for the girls (I LOVE mine) and $50 and a car wallet organizer for the boys. Not to shabby! Mia got a few fun toys, LOTS of savings bonds. Which are always a great gift.



Christmas Day

Is always spent with my family in Goose Lake. Very nice, our family is shrinking but growing. Let me explain. Just a few years ago there would be Mom, Dad, Susie, myself, Ed, Gramma and Asshole (Uncle Bill). Then you take away Asshole (Uncle Bill, fucked that one up a few Thanksgivings ago) and Gramma passed away (boo!) add Mia and now add Alex. Oh and my mom's 2 brothers with there families used to stop by. But not this year. It was kinda nice, just us. We really enjoyed opening gifts, taking our time, having a GREAT ham dinner my mom made. And relaxing afterwards.

I can't even begin to list the presents we got, my mom likes to pick out lots of fun stuff. Ed got a great Michigan Banner with all the championship years on it, Michigan truck mats, some clothes, lots of Axe body wash (he really doesn't smell) I love the lined Croc shoes Susie got me. My dad got me a $50 Panera Bread card, Mom and dad got me fun lounge clothes. Oh Susie also got me a bunch of super funny maternity shirts. (Happy Bunny ones that say "Do you really want to start with the pregnant lady?" and "Super uncomfortable, thanks") Mia received every possible Elmo toy and outfit they could find within 50 miles. Alex also got a super soft blue blanket, some clothes and a blue stuffed bunny from Susie.

So I think that sums up our Christmas weekend! Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!!

Let it snow!!

Holy snow! I woke up around 7:20 am today, and the snow was just starting to come down. Now it's almost 10 and the plows are already making the rounds.

Mia and I are all dressed up with a first birthday to go to, in Naperville at noon! I do not mind the snow at all, just be very careful and focused on the road, give us some extra time to get there, it will be all good!

Hope you all have a happy snow day!

I don't wanna!!

Arrgghh.

So Mia and Me went to McD's for breakfast, then to Starbucks for coffee, dropped of Ed's Venti Java Chip at the video store. Yes, I put off cleaning for the morning.

I have been working for a hour and a half, Mia just went down for her nap. I am just trying not to do circles in this insane house!! (see post below) I am so glad my dad made that crawl space storage while we were in Arizona, that is where most of these toys must go!

And since my amazing husband, is busy at his second job, and he bought me a Cricut for Christmas!!! I should be busting my ass for him. This little man inside me, makes me so tired though. Sigh. I am making a dent though.

When I do get my house together, I have so much Stampin' Up! new year business stuff to work on. If you don't know we are releasing our new 2008 Spring Summer Catalog Collection, I am having a "Soup and Stamps" night on the 4th. LOTS of work to do before then. Here's my list...

...email customers reminding them of the January 1st cut off for this years catalog.
...gift card to make for a customer
...organize papers
...get Birthday Club info prepped
...get Hostess Club info together
...come up with next quarters class schedule
...Call office supply stores, get a good price on spiral binding catalogs
...prep the catalogs for Soup and Stamps night (post-its, pens, pocket, labels...)
...Come up with Free make-n-take project for Soup and Stamps night
...clean up Stampin' Desk (and my other art desk if possible)
...did you get all that??

Anyway, I needed a mini break away from cleaning, to empty this list out of my head.

BACK TO WORK!!

It's Over

My house looks like a Christmas/Food store battle field. Obviously we had no one at our house this week but ourselves. Yikes!

I went to Aldi (food store) and bought my 3 months of food. Well that is still on the kitchen table and island because I need to straighten out the pantry before attempting to add to it.

Dishes, piled up. Garbage full.

The pool room. Pool table has now been converted to a wrapping station, and the floor has wrapping garbage/all the gifts we just brought home from the last few days.

Front room, was where we had our Christmas, for 3 people it is quite a mess. Loft is Toy land.

SO today will be cleaning day, and tomorrow, and the next day...

Windy.

Weather forcast for Sunday: Variable clouds and windy with light snow flurries possible. High around 20F. Winds WSW at 25 to 40 mph. Winds could occasionally gust over 50 mph.

If you have ever read on how much I dislike wind. Today is a day that my wind-hating self, will be permanently inside. It makes me SO crabby, I just can't handle it. So I will enjoy the comfort of my p.j.'s, my cats, dogs, Mia, and Ed. Wrap up some presents, and watch the Bears.

Sigh

One big sigh. I am officially done Christmas shopping. I started wrapping them last night, I actually conned my mom into going shopping with me today. She refused until I told her I had Stampin' Up!'s new Spring Summer Collection catalog, and I knew where to get these funky image glasses she wanted.

She said "ABSOLUTELY NO MALL!" which made sense, so we went to Target on Rt 59, much safer, way less people, the electronic department was a little hairy but we got in and got out. I really like shopping with another person when I have Mia with me. It is crazy with her sometimes.

I bought myself 2 shirts, each $7! wee! Clearance maternity here I come! I had NOTHING for Ed as of this morning, so I was able to do all his shopping at Target, I got a little to much, so I will hold some for his Birthday in February, same thing for my sister, January 7th.

I think I am going to open and untie all of Mia's toys before I wrap them, so she can just play with them right away. Nothing like 20 minutes of trying to unpackage a toy!

I am to excited that Ed is NOT working EITHER job tomorrow, so we can stay home and relax. Christmas Eve he has to work at the video store from 2 pm-6pm, boo! Then we will drive out to his grandparents house (45 minutes) to see his whole family for Christmas Eve.
Christmas Day we will have at home just the 4 of us (Alex included!) then we will go to my mom and dads for the rest of the day. Ed does have to work Christmas night, but not until 10 pm.

So those are my hot plans for the Holiday. I will now go shower my stinky self, then wrap presents. Hope you all have a relaxing night!

What about Wednesday?

There is no number associated with W, so I am making up my own idea. What about Wednesday? I am choosing to tell you 10 things about me, that may be useless to you, but are interesting none the less...

1. I love office supplies! I could spend hours in an office supply store.

2. I crack my toes, ankles, knees, hips, back, shoulders, wrists, fingers, and neck. Oh and sometimes my collarbone, but that one weirds me out.

3. I am SO sensitive to the sun. I know my light skin and blue eyes are to blame. Especially with all this snow! Yikes, can we say reflection?!?

4. As much as I love myself, I really miss being skinny. After baby I say...

5. I really am my mother after all

6. I put applesauce on just about every meal.

7. I tend to be a know-it-all. I don't like that part of me.

8. I want a new/used car so bad. But I have really enjoyed no car payments on 2 cars for the last 6 years. I just hope we can get through a few more years with these!

9. I love computer games. I don't really make the time for them anymore. I love Sims, Myst and all the sequels to it (Riven, Exile, and Uru) the Neverhood, Rollercoaster Tycoon, and Zoo Tycoon.

10. Even though I love Stamping and Scrapbooking, my true love of art is clay and painting.

(Baby Alex kicked me the whole time I typed this!)

Productive

I have been productive since I have been home from Arizona. I think it took me a week of eating out 3x's a day and living out of a suitcase, to realize how nice it is to be in my home with my routine, and home cooked meals (I smell the Angus Sirloin Tip Roast in French onion soup with potatoes in my crock pot as I type!)

I have been balancing the check book every day, making notes and lists to get things done, I have ONE load of laundry that needs to be washed, still need to fold 3 others but that is leftover from before vaca. And I folded and put away 5 yesterday!

I still have to finalize Christmas presents, wrap them & send out my cards (made already). In my Stampin' Up! world I have a new Spring Summer Collection Catalog coming out January 2nd, which is a big deal to my business, I need to get my class schedule set for the next quarter, and get my paper work in order for the new year. I also would like to scrapbook A page before the new year.

Lots to do! Not to mention the everyday running around behind an 18 month old, the 2 crazy dogs, and just picking up after me and Ed. Yikes! I am pooped already. Well one step at a time right?

Hope everyone has a productive day!!

Funniest 1st Dance!

Maniac Monday!

What is your idea of a perfect romantic evening?

A Nice dinner with Ed, followed by a walk, just the two of us, talking and dreaming. Did I mention this all take place some where tropical? Only 25 more years... (he promised he would take me when we pay off the house)

Imagine you had to take part in the winter Olympics. What sport would you do? (Here's a link to the official sports, in case you need help.)

So I had to go to the link myself for help, I would have to say Ice Hockey would be my winner. I really haven't been on skates in years, but I liked floor hockey in H.S. so that would be my gold!

What's something that people do in traffic that really bothers you?

Seriously I couldn't write them all down, but here is a briefing of what really bothers me in traffic...

...Slow drivers in the fast lane. Yes that is if you are going slower then me. M O V E.
...Brake riders, why some people insist on riding there brakes, especially when NO one is within 100 feet?!
...Cut off. This is a gimmie for all of us, and yes I will give your ass the finger, and possibly a good horn too.
...Ass riders. This is it. The winner of them all. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ride my ass. I will slow down, or slam on my brakes. You piss me off and I will not move out of your way. Now don't get this one twisted with the "Slow drivers" comment. I will move over if you are flying up behind me. But you need to get it straight that I can't fly over the 18 wheeler that is next to me, and no I will not go 80mph for you either.
...The I didn't see it act. ARGH! I think Arizona was just full of these idiots. Where they totally cut you off, or blow a light and just act like nothing happened, not looking around to realize why everyone else in traffic is blowing there horns. (sorry but mostly seniors)
...Just to name a few...

Alexander Edward McHale

Yes my readers I am growing a penis inside my belly!

We are too ecstatic to be having a boy! I can't wait for all the fun things I get to do with my little man. We still would have been excited if it was a girl, with two sisters it's always more drama. I am just so glad we get to have the chance at raising a boy. The McHale name will now be carried on! No pressure, Ed was the only Grandson born on that side of the family, he only has one other cousin Maggie in Ireland.

Anywho, boy it is, now we can officially go boy shopping!!

Pink or Blue?!?

So the countdown is here, we have 14 hours and 46 minutes until we get to find out if we are having a boy or a girl.

I say boy, Ed says girl.

I am TOO excited to find out, this is one of the best parts of being pregnant for me. Now just hope that baby McHale is friendly and wants to show us what he/she is working with!!

Survivor Recap

Congrats to you Todd.

I knew from day 1 when you did your first diary, that you were my winner. I am so happy for you.

Yes you lied. You backstabbed.

You also did what you were told to do. You

Outwit. Outlast. Outplayed.

Again congrats, you are one of my favorite Survivors!

Props to my pops! (And mom!)

While I was away for 8 days in Arizona, my mom and dad, thought that our dogs would be more comfy if there were here at home, and they would come everyday and Patsy would stop by every night, to check and feed my zoo.

Well my parents thought they would work on projects around my house. Like my garage. Description of the garage December 8th 2007. There was a skinny path that went through my garage to the door into the house. Stuff everywhere. Sadly some garbage, boxes, stuff that just needed a place to call it's own.

I also had bought stuff for Mia for Christmas that was out there. Oh my, it was insane.

We opened our garage at 11:08 pm on December 15th 2007. To a beautifully organized and clean garage!! Against the fridge was a large painted sign that said "parking for 2!" My dad threw out the old cabinets and made me a tool/work bench, a shoe rack (huge) hooks for coats and storage all down the side of my garage! Fixed our snow blower (and left Ed a little index card with directions) My mom went through EVERYTHING I had out there and either threw it out or put it away.

Then, yes there is more, my dad went into the new baby room, and made a crawl space door into the open space above the garage. We had to go up a 8 foot ladder to reach it otherwise. This will be for all the kids toys. Easy to get to, and great storage!!

So GINORMOUS thanks to my mom and dad for going above and beyond, as usual. Thank you.

Two palm trees with a moon inbetween

So I am home. Thank God.

Vacation to Phoenix was not as planned. I was stressed, I fought with Ed more then I would like, like Sara says "It's not vacation, it is relocation" I was relocated to somewhere (not hot or warm for that matter)

Sadly my MIL was put in the hospital for Strep of the leg. Sigh, she was admitted Tuesday and came out late Thursday, we left Saturday. That left me, Mia, Ed and my FIL, to hang out in Phoenix. We did have some fun, we went to the Phoenix Zoo (love it!!) and took Mia swimming (cold, but in a heated pool)

It just was NOT the vacation we had planned. My MIL is still sick and is going to the wound care clinic to see a Dr. this week, and will be admitted back into the hospital for more IV antibiotics.

I did however get to see the lovely Alicia. My dearest and most favoritest person it the world. To explain to you who don't know, Alicia, is my cousin, my dad and her mom are brother and sister. She grew up in Arizona, and we just met 9 years ago, when she came home for our Grampa John's funeral.

We are twins. We agree on everything, talk the same, same idea's, same likes, same love for Mocha's, and each other's kids. It is just about impossible to leave her, knowing I have so long to see her again.

I titled this blog "Two palm trees with a moon in between" because, when I would sit in the pool at night, I could look up between two palm trees and the moon would be in between. I would blog in my head all the things I wanted to say when I got home.

And as insane as the weather is here, as cold and snowy as it is. I am very happy to be back in my house, with my dogs, and my cats and my routine!

Manic Monday

Even though I was not here on Monday, I wanted to play anyway, hoping there will be another tomorrow? check out http://manicmondaymeme.blogspot.com/ for the Manic Monday... there are 3 questions, but I decided that I was going to do a few weeks back of Monday's...


For the holidays, are you a last-minute shopper or do you shop well ahead of time?
Both, I will do some as early as July and some as late as December 23rd

If you had to pick a new first name for yourself, what name would you choose?
Funny you should ask. When I was in the 7th grade, I was determined to change my name to Missy. I refused to answer to anything but. Glad I grew out of that. I am proud of my name, spelled with no "e" on the end.

What's worse,having expectations that are too high, or having no expectations at all? I would have to say having expectations that are to high. I am very optimistic, and I do get excited about things easily. But I try to set myself up for the worst in my head, so that I am not let down.

What's the longest you've ever waited in line? Probably for Batman the roller coaster, Ed and me waited for 2 1/2 hours.

It's been said that, "The best things in life are free." Do you think this is true? Why or why not?
Yes, I do. Maybe it's the optimistic in me. But if you really look at your life, well at least when I look at mine, I realize how blessed I am with all I have, not so much materialistic, but with my family and friends.

If you could go back in time and re-live one day in your life, which day would you choose and why? I really thought about this one. I don't really have a day that I would have to relive. It may be corny but I live every day and try to enjoy everything around me. I guess my wedding day. I would like to maybe not be so stressed out if I could have a do-over.

Which personality trait has gotten you into the most trouble? My bluntness. I am really blunt, with most topics. I am not afraid to talk about what I feel, obviously if you read here you know this. I will discuss abortion, gays, religion. I do warn you, that you may not agree with me, but as we all know opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and everyone things everyone elses stinks.

If you had to gain 10 pounds what would you eat to gain the weight? Mac and Cheese, pasta, potatoes, hmmm...all carbs. Being pregnant right now makes it easy for me to eat what I want. It's just after this baby. Which is our last... that will be hard...

How is your private self different from your public self? No much. I am loud, swearing, funny, goofy, all by myself. Sometimes I tend to think more when I am alone, but when I am out with other people I talk more.

What is your least favorite day of the week and why? A crazy day when Ed has to work both jobs. Boo!

What's the best way to end the day? Dinner, and TV with Ed, then we both go up to bed and spoon. Now even though you didn't ask, I like to start the day with waking up next to Ed, and we talk, about our day, what we plan to do in the future. That is the best.

Which animal would you have left out of the ark? None. I know that all animals play a part in our world and how it works, without them, we are losing a great part of what we have.

What family traditions or customs would you most like to see preserved? I would love for the home made Ravioli's tradition to carry on, and for my kids to always come home for Christmas.

What do you feel is the least sexy part of the body? Oh yes, let the pregnant lady count the body parts!! I guess if you asked me this when I was not pregnant, I would say my legs. At 5' 1/2" I am quite short, and even though I am blessed with a nice tummy (most of the time!) I do not wear shorts, I have yucky big thighs and the whiteness would scare off a ghost!

What keeps you awake at night? Why? (This could be worries, recurring thoughts, pain or any other distraction. Read into this any way you wish.) Sadly I have RLS, which is Restless Leg Syndrome. It sucks so bad! The best way to describe it is your legs and lower back are kinda twitchy and feel like you want to run at 200 mph, I get so restless, and I can't sit or lay down. I have to walk it off, which may take a while.

Describe yourself in one word: Random

What is your favorite kitchen utensil and why? My Griddle! Because I abuse it. I grill on it ALL the time, veggies, eggs, sandwiches...

What is the one thing that frightens you the most about growing old? Losing Ed. I can't do this alone. I so look forward to growing old and enjoying my life with him. Also not having my parents anymore.

Ok, OK I will stop with the questions, that was fun...

Miss me!

Hello!

I will miss all of you. It will be hard not blogging for 8 days, but I will suck it up and go sit by the pool. I am leaving for Mesa, AZ EARLY in the morning. I think it was around 77 degrees there? Rough I know. Compared to yesterdays breezy 10 degrees. shudder.

So I will be back late on Saturday the 15th, and hopefully blogging by Tuesday the 18th. Sunday maybe, Monday is Mia's Dr. appt, my ultra sound and Dr. appt, then I have my Stampin' Up! Christmas party that night. Sooo, if not Sunday then Tuesday.

Sigh, signing off! Have a good week! Miss me!!

Jacki

Boobah

Mia was contently watching Boobahs, the other day. I caught this picture while in the loft. She is growing so damn fast, its so great to be home with her everyday to watch her. Love my Mi.

Thursday 13, what a rant!

So I thought I would do the old Thursday 13 blog... here are 13 things that annoy the shit out of me...be warned I vented on these...

1. I HATE when I am in a public bathroom, squatting over a toilet, trying to tear off paper. And I get one damn sheet at a time!!

2. I HATE when people are racist. I am not perfect, I once was too. But being raised that that was OK, doesn't make it right, but I am glad I have had friends in my life that have taught me that we are all the same.

3. I HATE donation calls. Almost as much as cold calls, but I don't get those anymore. I once had a bitch asking for children's cancer donation. I said no, and she asked me if I cared about children with cancer? Seriously?!? I donate to my sisters cause, Dystonia, and to animal shelters. What a guilt trip she was trying to lay on me.

4. I HATE people who judge people on there weight. Even if it's just comments to me. You don't know there history, they could have a sickness that makes them overweight. The funny thing is this comes from people that are over weight and out of shape.

5. I HATE slow drivers. I don't care for psycho fast drivers either. But you slow ass fuckers need to stay OFF MY HIGHWAY. Yes, MY highway. Or get in the right lane and NEVER leave it. Gah!!

6. I HATE people that drink a lot. It is so unattractive to me. I get it when your in your early 20's, party while you can. But seriously, if you around 30 and older, you are a joke to me. I get it your night out with the girls, or the guys is cool. But to drink all week or EVERY weekend, is stupid and COSTS MONEY. What a waste.

7. I HATE smokers. Period. Cigarette smokers to be exact. Cigars for occasional get togethers, cool. Weed to chill at home, whatever is your thing. But the cigarette smokers, occasional or hourly, you are gross. You smell, you hurt my lungs, you are killing yourself, and you are WASTING MONEY. Oh I can't wait until we get our smokers ban January, 2nd!! No smoking in public places or 15 feet from a public building, or you and the business will be fined! Hooray!! Fine away!

8. I HATE people that judge Gays. I really don't get this one. Gay, lesbian, transgender. Whatever. If these over righteous, religious, freaks would calm down and realize that gays, are not different. The love just the same. And don't even get me started on what the bible says about this one, we will not go there. Gays are JUST like you and me. They ARE made that way. IT IS NOT A CHOICE. Don't get it yet? Don't open your mouth and judge then, keep that to yourself until you can grasp it.

9. I HATE when people don't have money because of the situation they chose to be in. Ed works 2 jobs, no matter the type of job, as long as he is supporting us, no job is to demeaning to him. (by the way Family Video and Empress Casino are always hiring) We just don't go to eat in sit down restaurants, or have new cars, or go shopping for ourselves. We don't go out and drink or smoke. We try hard at life, and we make the best of it. I am not ashamed of Garage Sales or Clearance racks. This is why I hate lazy fucks that have no jobs, then the bitch because of no money?! Go make some then. If you try at life, it's not so bad.

10. I HATE when people don't consider there pets part of the family. Don't buy a dog, or cat unless you can handle and afford, food, vet bills, daily stress, barking, meowing, more vet bills, urine, barf, diarrhea, bugs...need I go on? I love my pets and yes they are my kids.

11. I HATE people that rag on Britney Spears. I know she really doesn't have everything together at home. But seriously you are not in her shoes, I don't care how many kids you have or your hard job too. She has the most insane paparazzi up her ass 25/8, I feel for the girl, I do. And her newest CD, Blackout, is awesome. Judge your perfect life first, then let me know how it would look if we blew it up for the world to see.

12. I HATE when people don't have the time... I once read that we are all given the same 24 hours in a day. It's what you chose to do with those hours. So yes going to work is important to you and picking up your kids from school, but you can't say I don't have the time. You make the time to do what you want. Or you can change your situation to better your time schedule.

13. I HATE laundry, wind, the fact that my Gramma Alice and Gramma Wanda are gone. I hate that my Grampa John and Grampa Francis (never met) are gone. I hate the fact that the one person in this world that totally gets me is 3000 miles away, I hate the fact that my MIL is sick with Fibramyalgia, Acid Reflux, Arthritis, two bad knees and now her back is out. I also hate people that chew with there mouth open or smack there food. I had the sound of rustly snack bags, and the sound of anything rattling (like change under an empty pop can) in the car!

I really am not angry or crabby, I just wanted to blog about 13 things, and there are always things that bug me. So there some of them are. I feel better already!

Brain dead

I am so exhausted. I know realize how insane it is for a mom to pack for everyone to go on vacation.

Going somewhere and just packing for yourself? And your sig. other? PIECE OF CAKE. Packing what you think you may need for a 3 hour plane ride to Phoenix, 77 degrees in day, 50's at night, for an 18 month old. What a joke.

I have spent hours making lists. One for each topic.
List for Mia
List for Plane
List for Jacki
List for Ed
List for what we need to buy when we get there
List of what to do before we leave

AARRGGHH! So I am sick, pregnant, tired and listed out. I packed Mia'a suitcase, but I will redo it when I am in a better mindset. I SO over packed for her. There is a washer and dryer in the mobile.

Sigh, Jayme, I now get why you dislike packing before a trip. This is not a vacation for mom, this is like the maid prepping for a trip. I just can't wait to fit my ass into a swim suit (not pretty) and go float in the heated pool for 10 days. Ahhh...

If ever oh ever a Wiz there was!

Laying in bed this morning, I was concentrating on the baby moving in my tummy. I can't wait until I get to feel him (my prediction) moving more.

I realized that Mia is growing up so fast, and no matter boy or girl, I just can't wait to have memories with them both. Together as a family or one on one with each one.

It's amazing how fast time goes by with kids, I have said this before, and the fact that 18 months has flown by for us with Mia. That is why I want to take her everywhere I go and to see everything I can show her. Memories are so important to my family.

She is getting so smart and so aware of her surrounding now. As much as she has so many of my personality traits, and I say that I don't want her to have them. I guess I do. I am a strong, funny, empathetic person. I LOVE people and I like to talk and here stories. I do hope she is just like me, but better.

Now for my next little one. I am hoping of coarse for healthy first. But if I had to pick boy or girl, it would have Ed's personality either way. Strong, quiet, loving. Having two opposites in the house would be a nice mix. My sister and I are opposites, but we always balanced each other out.

Now if I get two of myself, no matter boy or girl. It may be a bit hairy around the McHale house. I am SO looking forward to my kids growing and the life Ed and I get to share together with them as a family.

Oh, I almost forgot to post why there is The Wizard here, from Oz. One of my happy childhood memories, is my mom would walk my sister and I to school each morning (or our baby sitter Debbie)

So on the way, my sister on one side and me on the other, would hold my mom's hands and we would all skip to school singing...

Were off to see the Wizard,

The wonder Wizard of Oz,

Well here he is, a wiz of a Wiz,

If ever a wiz there was.

If ever oh ever a Wiz there was,

the Wizard of Oz is one because,

Because, because, because, because, because,

Because of the wonderful things he does,

Oh were of to see the Wizard! The wonder Wizard of Oz!

And we had this special stop and we all turn around as one, part too. I think they do that in the movie also.

I actually looked up the words online, we are pretty close. We never sang the Yellow brick road part, that is in the beginning of the song. I really love all the memories my parents made with my sister and I.

Here is to many amazing memories, that I will share, and already have created with my family.

Hello readers...

Hello my readers.

I am happy to say I am feeling better. I have only been taking my Tylenol, when I need it. It's amazing what you can do with out all those drugs. I mean if I wasn't pregnant, I would be so doped up on NyQuil. But I did it with out it. I really wasn't that bad.

So update with me. Mia was picked up by my IL's on Friday, I had her stay until this morning. It kills me to have her away for so long. But I really got some good rest, just glad I have my IL's that will take her all weekend.

I was supposed to have a Stampin' Up! workshop today, at a customers house, but she canceled on Friday (phew) because her husband has the stomach flu (NOT something I need!!) So I already set my parents up to take her today until tomorrow. And since we will be out of town for 10 days, I thought they could enjoy some time with her.

Needless to say, I saw her for about 20 minutes when she got home, then she wanted nih nih and a baba. My time with her is short today. But at least I got to see her. Ed told me now I'm on his schedule. I don't know how he does it. Oh yeah, he does it for the love of his family. Damn I'm lucky.

And I am feeling better. My evil head cold is so much better, I took a LONG ass hot shower this morning, with my cats. They love to sit in between the shower curtains and watch me shower. Creepy.

So since I am feeling better, maybe I can do something around the house. Ugg maybe laundry, but don't get your hopes up. I did make 80 Christmas Cards yesterday. 50 for my IL's and 30 for myself. THANK GOD I am done!! Yeah!!

Well, off I go to be productive. Have a good day!

Mi Free and a McD's date

I am so nice. I was just going to give Mia up for a few hours today. But since I have a craptastical sinus cold, I am giving her up to my IL's until Sunday morning. Sigh, I miss my Mi already.

Now as she goes, I put her in her car seat, and she says "bye bye, momma" LOVE IT. Nothing better then hearing the sweet voice of your child. Mmmm, warm and fuzzy feeling.

So I was by myself until about 4:30 when Ed came home from the video store. He did poo patrol, (here's a mental image for you. frozen big turds, Jayme I know you know these)

Then we ran to Jewel to get me some drugs. My Dr. said I can take Robitussin DM cold (only) or Sudafed (to many to pick from so I didn't get it) and plain Tylenol. Sigh, I will only use the Robitussin if I have to. I am feeling a little better though.

Then we drove to our new McDonalds for dinner, the drive through looked like a zoo, I had made a sarcastic comment that we could have a dinner date inside (side note: Ed hates to eat inside) So we go inside, this lady says it's not worth the wait, she has been in line for at least 20 minutes (now to the defense of the McD kids working, 20 minutes in customer language is more like 7 minutes in real time)

So I blew her off, and we got in line, it took all of 4 minutes for 2 meals, and cookies, for us. This goes to show you that some people are just spaz asses when it comes to customer service. Not to mention no one there working looked a day over 17. So really, what are you going to get? An eye roll, and spit in your food.

The drive thru was a zoo, I over heard people coming in that they were out there for over a half an hour. Whatever system the 17 year old crew had, was not working. But it worked for me and Ed, and I got a free large fry because they gave it to us on accident. Horray teenagers!!

So it was a nice dinner with Ed. We are now home, Ed is in bed watching his shows I taped (First 48 and Dallas SWAT) I think I will go kill Sophie, (she is into something) and clean and organize my art room.

I would also like to add, that I have NOTHING planned until December 7th. NOTHING. No classes, no parties, no functions, NADA. I just hope to kick this cold before then. We are leaving for Arizona on the 8th!! Wee! Here I come Scuz!

Hope you all have a cold free weekend

Week 18: Your cute little greased piglet

Fetal development in pregnancy week 18:
Fetus in fifth month We have two more ounces! Your "getting bigger-n-better by the minute baby" is already up to 7 ounces and 6 inches! This is a big week for their baby skin. There are now two distinct layers—the epidermis (or the surface skin) and dermis. Currently, their skin is covered with a greasy, waxy, cheese-like substance, known as vernix caseosa. Sure, it sounds pretty nasty, but this mixture of fatty secretions covering your little swimmer from head to toe is the best way to protect their oh-so-thin skin from bruising and abrasions as well as chapping caused by amniotic fluid exposure (and your little one is swimming in that stuff!).

Still don’t like the fact your little darling is currently slathered in fatty cream like a greased pig? Well, you know the birthing process? Where you have to push something the size of a watermelon out a hole the size of a grape? That adorable little greased piglet would have a lot harder time getting through the birth canal without the vernix caseosa. Fun fact for momma’s with baby girls: it’s a uterus within a uterus! Your little girl will have developed a uterus and vagina canal by the end of this week.

And how's mom doing? POP! If you haven’t yet, you will soon be seeing the last of your inn-y belly button—until after you’ve pushed your little monkey out. If it’s getting difficult to breathe, you can thank your not-so-small belly for squishing your lungs—which will be more and more cramped for space as the pregnancy progresses.

Not that this is surprising as everything else in your mid-section is getting properly squooshed as well. (What else is new?!!). Keep in mind that as you grow (and grow and grow) in size you produce more blood (for both of you), which lowers your blood pressure. So standing up quickly and/or occasional fast movements may cause slight dizziness or lightheadedness. This is totally normal, but means you shouldn’t be too quick to jump to your feet when your team scores a goal. It's better to just punch the air in excitement or clap gleefully.

One more fun pregnancy symptom to add to the list: you are producing more melanin, which can cause dark patches of skin to occur on random parts of your body. Don’t worry—these dark spots (unlike your parent’s age spots) will retreat soon after birth.

I lost an MnM the other day...

Seriously, I didn't tell anyone but Ed about this, basically because we didn't want anyone to worry, until there was something to really worry about.

The lost MnM is below my ear and behind my jaw bone. It really feels like a MnM under my skin. It wasn't red like a bug bite. It wasn't sore like swollen glands. It's just a dumb bump that I found Saturday night.

So I called my Obgyn, only because I was right on my thought, that no regular Dr. would see me, or treat me, since I am 18 weeks. So Dr. Q's nurse (talked to her Monday morning) got me in this morning at 10:30.

My whole little family of 3, traveled in to the office, to find out it's a lymp node. He gave me a long medical explanation but, I really grasped only the words, "It's only a lymph node" from him. I was so relieved! Dr. Q said that since there is only one, there is nothing to worry about, and he is not concerned at all. He still had me go to get blood drawn (boo) for a test, to see if my Lymp node count was OK. He said more than likely it will come back normal.

He said they do have antibiotics for them, but again, just one didn't seem necessary. He said it should go away.

So that is my morning. I then had a great day at the mall with my mom and Mia. I got my super cute shirt (at the Maternity store) last one! For the holidays. Then I used a $50 gift card I have been holding onto for JC Penny's (we DO NOT shop there.) I found a cute, fuzzy, thick blanket for Mia, her comforter with her bed set is to stiff, and her other blankets are to thin. And a small black, with white and pink doodley flowers on them, diaper bag. (I know, I don't need another one.) but I did, this is a small travel one. Good for McD dates, or just errands.

Glad to have an happy ending to a some what stressful morning. Good night!

Tag (what board game is this from!)

Jayme tagged me with a meme called The First Letter Of Your Name. I did the first letter of my middle name, since Jayme did all J's already. So my middle name is Susanne



All you have to do is use the first letter of your name to fill it in. Use real words, nothing made up. FUN!

Famous Singer: Spears, Britney

Four Letter Word: Shit

Street: Stonebrier

Color: Sage

Gifts/Presents: Socks

Vehicles: Santa Fe

Things In A Souvenir Shop: Sea shells

Boy Name: Sam

Girl Name: Serena

Movie Title: Sahara

Drink: Soda

Occupation: Stay At Home Mom!!

Celebrity: Sytles, Julia

Magazine: Scrapbook ect.

U.S. City: St. Augustine, FL

Pro Sports: Sumo Wrestling

Fruit: Strawberries

Reason For Being Late For Work: Sex

Something You Throw Away: Shoes

Something You Shout: Shut Up!

Now to tag, let’s see…Anyone who wants to do it! Just leave me a comment so I know to check it out!

Good morning.

Hello,

Just a quick "hi" Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone. Mine was great, I did fun crafts with my mom and Susie. Dad and Ed played Wii sports, and Mia couldn't decide what room was more fun! Then after dinner at my mom's we drove out to Ed's aunts house in Crete. Had desert and saw family there.

Friday I decorated a little, cleaned around the house. Saturday was crazy! We always go to the Jones Family Christmas Party, but it is on the North Side of Chicago, so it took us about an hour and a half, with traffic and we went Ed's way. Sigh, the one thing I am great at is directions. So when he gets in the car and says he want to try a different way, let's just say it was a tense, pissy, car ride. His was was supposedly faster. Yeah, for those of you who know, remind me how fast on a Saturday night, on a holiday weekend, I-55 north to 294 north, to 90 East, all the fricken way to wrigleyville is?

Let's try Jacki's way on the way home. Wrigleyville to I-55 south to our exit. 35 minutes less. Hmmm, I got a 2 hour apology back rub out of it. Damn, learn from Ed's mistake. Don't fuck with me and my directions. I got it.

Anywho. The party was fun after a while, Loren got on the piano and played all Christmas songs, and some oldies, so everyone sang along.

Sunday, I hung more Christmas lights outside. My house is superfly this year!! I will have to take a picture and show you all.

Monday was nothing, we sat around all day, Ed went to work at the video store, and then Mia and me went to my mom's to finish the Thanksgiving day craft project.

Yesterday was laundry folding (gag) and chilling around the house. I am trying to avoid all sick people (sorry Jen) right now. I can't afford to get sick, Mia can't get sick, this means no sleep for either of us, and we leave for Arizona in 9 days!

So that is what is up here. Not much just hanging out, enjoying spending time together with my family.

It's all fun until you get a bird feeder up your ass

Yikes! That's right readers, I got a bird feeder up my ass. I was on a ladder hanging the rest of my Christmas lights, I guess I positioned myself for a nice finch feeder goosing!

Yes I know, I shouldn't be up on a ladder, I am very careful. Baby steps. I did a bunch on Friday, but I realized I needed more. So now there are lights around the front window, bush lights in my front bushes, around my door (those are with garland) and then icicle lights across my garage. I will try to remember to take a picture for you to see.

We are very festive around here. Ed says to much Christmas makes the house all gay. Well we live in a very flaming house! But he helped me drag out and put up the tree. I am SO excited, it is in my front living room. We have a sectional that wraps around in front of the window, so I split the sectional and put the tree right in front of the window!! My excitement is because since the dogs always owned that room, the would have torn it down by now. So I get a pretty room. That is all gay and Christmasy, and smells like Frosted Christmas from bath & body. Mmmm, I am happy with my room and my lights.

Oh and I put icicle lights on the deck outside, since I see it all the time. (we are giving Sophie about 2 days before she electrocutes herself trying to eat them off)

It was cool watching Mia, while I hung the lights (Ed was supervising from the couch) we are so smart with our lights, we have bush lights (if you haven't seen them. They are like a big net of lights, so it just takes 2 bush light strands to cover our whole tree!)

She was good, just touched the tree lightly, asking "waz zat?" and a "ohhh" from her. She was more interested in dada's turkey day left over lunch.

Well I am off to decorate more, and possibly watch some Bears with Ed. Go Bears!! Have a festive day!!

Process of bed time

This is probably the scariest picture of Mia to date. She was squatting down then she would jump up and say boo. I just so happened to catch this! (This will be on all future birthday cakes, Happy Ads, pre-date embarrassment...)

This one is a cute boo picture, I really wanted to get her when she would just have her eyes peering over the edge of the tub
Bathrobe baby! She is too cute in her bathrobe, just running around her room, while mommy gets her p.j. and her diaper. If you could zoom to those finger and feet, you would see the pruniest baby!! Now we are disrobed and aggressively telling mommy "Nih, Nih" as she yanks her blanket from her crib. Hold on kid, your still birthday naked!

To late, now we are to the final step, the sucking noise and the glassy eyes. This is the fun process of bed time with my 18 month old.

Once in a life time

This is a picture of my dad. He is so happy. This is a once in a life time picture of him in the very first available parking spot about 40 feet from the door.

With Susie's disability she is also granted handicap parking, (this is a bonus for Susie's pregnant sister) My dad pulled up into the drop off zone and realized that there was a spot there, he actually hesitated, in shock that we could actually have the best spot ever. Now mind you this happens to a lot of us, but when the parking is in a garage for Rush St. Luke's in Chicago, it's a little harder to find anything, my dad has had to leave the garage and come back in on a few occasions. Just to find any spot.

So I thought is was necessary to document the BEST PARKING EVER!

Week 17 baby and mommy

Yeah! Week 17! My baby is 5 inches and 5 ounces! So Big! I have been feeling pretty good, headaches and nose bleeds are common for me about now, but otherwise I have good energy, and damn I am hungry, constantly! So I have been feeling lower abdomen pains and now I know why, read below for my exact symptoms...

This week, or in the coming weeks, you may be privy to the uncommon joys of “round ligament pain.” These not-so-lovely symptoms can include bellyaches, pain in the lower abdomen and sharp shooting and/or stabbing pains, most often expressed at the end of the day.

Your suffering is due to stretched ligaments and muscles that support your ever-growing uterus. This is to be expected and is perfectly normal (especially since your uterus is only getting bigger!)

Did 'Sesame Street' Ruin Generation X, or Save It?

New York Times TV writer Virginia Heffernan, there is a warning on the new "Sesame Street: Old School" DVD that reads, "These early 'Sesame Street' episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today's preschool child."

Baffled, Heffernan writes:
At a recent all-ages home screening, a hush fell over the room. "What did they do to us?" asked one Gen-X mother of two, finally. The show rolled, and the sweet trauma came flooding back. What they did to us was hard-core. Man, was that scene rough. The masonry on the dingy brownstone at 123 Sesame Street, where the closeted Ernie and Bert shared a dismal basement apartment, was deteriorating. Cookie Monster was on a fast track to diabetes. Oscar's depression was untreated. Prozacky Elmo didn't exist.

It brings up an interesting question: Were those of us who grew up in a time before organic snacks and mandatory car seats and Abby Cadabby really at a disadvantage? Heffernan suggests that over-protected kids today could learn a little something from old-school Sesame Street:

The harshness of existence was a given, and no one was proposing that numbers and letters would lead you "out" of your inner city to Elysian suburbs. Instead, "Sesame Street" suggested that learning might merely make our days more bearable, more interesting, funnier.We're with her. Kids today are often presented by kids' programming with a misleading "everyone wins!" version of reality. They could stand a little more misanthropic Oscar, a little less "Prozacky Elmo."

As much as I love my Elmo, I do totally agree with this article I read online this morning. Seriously I think that my kids will grow up in a "everyone wins" world and that is so not true. I grew up on Sesame Street and so will my kids. There are still episodes where they learn right from wrong. That Telly can't be the king and tell everyone what to do, no one like a bossy person. Just like everyone tries to tell Oscar that he needs to be nice, well some people are just meaner then others. It's a good reality check at a young age.

I know I have noticed that Cookie Monster has been caring around fruit in his lunch box, but in his episodes on TV he still eats all the cookies, and everything else. It is good to teach kids that fruit and veggies are good, cookies won't kill you. I believe it's just parents that are lazy to blame media for what there kids want.

Teach your child what is right and wrong. Sesame Street does a great job, I am Gen X and damn proud of how I turned out.

Busy Blogger!

Wow, I know I threw a blog out there on Saturday, but Thursday was my last blog blog. About what was going on.

Sooooo, Saturday was fun. Mia and I went to Christmas Crossroads with my mom and Susie, then to Orland Park for some lunch at Cosi (love it!) off to Kirlands for my mom, Barnes and Noble for Susie, and then to Old Navy for my maternity jeans and fleece. (Huge sale, I got $10 off each maternity item!!)

We got home, to try to decide to take Mia with Nikki and Loren to the Light Parade on Michigan Ave in Chicago. Time wise we would not have made it back in time for Ed's night job. So it was good we stayed it. WAY to many people to navigate a stroller in.

Sunday, I organized my scrapbooking stuff and my back art closet/desk (my basement has a 5x5 cubby in the corner, that my dad pimped out to be my art desk and storage. Well I out grew my room very fast, so I take over the rest of the unfinished part of the basement. But I am trying to use my room wisely and organize what I have.

Monday, was get ready for the meeting all day, do my 16 card swaps (using punches) and having dinner with my friends Jenalyn and Michelle before hand. We eat at the CharleyHorse in New Lenox, SO good!! We had our meeting, Connie's (my upline who hosts the meetings each month) friend Dawn, drove 2 hours to talk to us on booking more parties and her no fail techniques! Meetings usually last about 2 hours, then we sit and BS until about 1 or 2 am. Yikes that is SO late for me!! But it's always a fun night out, next month is our Christmas party!!

Tuesday, today, was CLEANING DAY. Yes I know I am Captain Lazy, Superslob, and Procrastination Queen. But Nikki and Loren were coming over at 5 for dinner and to hang out. So we, yes we, Ed and I power cleaned the house.
The pool room, cleaned. Dog kennels are no longer there, the are in the basement.
1/2 bath, cleaned
Media room in the basement, cleaned, vacuumed, dog kennels set up, couch cover washed, and dog blankets washed.
Kitchen, cleaned, leaf finally out of the table, dishes ALL done, stove cleaned, floors cleaned
Front room, cleaned with new Bath & Body air fresher in. (Frosted Cranberry, love it!)
Loft, swept and cleaned.
Bathroom, picked up.
So Mia's room is her usually with Toys every where.
The cat room is bearable.
My desk is messy in the loft.
My art room is a zoo
and our bedroom is full of 14 loads of CLEAN laundry that I get to put away tomorrow. Yuck.

So that is what I have been up too. Busy and productive! Now I am exhausted, but I still have a busy week. Don't we all?

Turkey Day, I will be at my parents early with Mia, Ed will be there around 10 am. We will hang out, do our Thanksgiving Day craft, Ed is renting a Wii game to play with my dad, and then eat. Mmm. Eating is fun. After that we will drive to Crete, IL to Ed's Aunt Nancy's to see his family.

Friday, I am staying IN! I refuse to go out in the madness!! I will hopefully still be in a turkey-coma.

Saturday, we have the Jones Family Christmas Party at 2 pm. (The Jones are Ed's Gramma's nieces) So Gramma, her sister and brother get all there families together, this will be a treck to Chicago's north side. Always fun with the Christmas Gift/Steal Exchange Game.

Gaa, then I get to get ready for a Stampin' Up! Workshop at a customers house in December, and then our vacation in Arizona, yikes then after that a week till Christmas!

Did you get all that?!?

Homophobia

Whether you are homosexual, or agree with it, you should repost this in support of your friends and loved ones who are. Start a conversation with those around you. Love is not defined by color, creed, or gender.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my husband of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

*****I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.*****

I am a warrior for my country serving proud, but can't be my true self because gays aren't allowed in the military.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. (If you read this far, PLEASE read this one again and think about it. -RW)

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson".
My name is Matthew Shepard.On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead Matthew to a remote area east of Laramie, Wyoming where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of hate. Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado.

KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS GAY!!!---IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS AS "HOMOPHOBIA."---IF YOU ARE IGNORANT... IGNORE

Lazy ass mother effer

I am SO freaking LAZY! It blows my mind how much I could get done, but I don't. The days I have energy, I am out and about, the days I am pooped I am at home, supposed to be doing house work.

I seriously realize that I have a problem, a real issue with doing anything I am supposed to do. I have swaps to do, for a Christmas Card Swap for tomorrow night, 12 of the with envelopes. I have a swap of 16 cards for my meeting on Monday, I have 50 cards to make for my IL's and I have my own Christmas cards to make. Thank god I am done with classes for the year. I will miss everyone, but we are all busy during the holiday season.

I have tried everything, a good one is to set a timer for 30 minutes, when it goes off I am to check if I am on my original task. Right, I get sidetracked before I can even set the timer to check on myself. Sigh, what to do.

I have a desk and paper work to organize, I have cards to make, laundry coming out my ears, clean and dirty, But there is always something to do, or somewhere to be. I have tried to take things away from myself, and reward myself, but it doesn't work.

This is the hardest job for me, because I have to be my own boss. Maybe I will have Ed make me a list of what to do. Then since I didn't make up the list, I will have to do it. It's like I need to screw with my own head.

Well I only have 42 minutes until Survivor, and if I want to watch it with some sanity left, I need to bathe my child, and get her bed changed. I did already make Ed's dinner for work. But I need to work on those swaps too! Yikes, and when I get tired around 8, that does not leave me a lot of time!

I did find something that worked today. I hung a few post-it notes on my monitor that read this message to myself "Lazy ass Mother fucker" "Stay away from this computer" "go do something" "NOW"

It worked, I came back to my computer a few hours later, and saw them. That is why Ed's dinner is made. I am on here now, because they were cheap post-its and fell off. Still a lame excuse, now I need good post-its and a lot of them...

Does it get any cuter?!?

Seriously! My baby is 18 months already, and (obviously) love Elmo. Too stinking' cute!!

Multitasker

This is my little multi-tasker. I was just watching her sit in the frontroom, she is watching Sesame Street while reading her book and has her sippy near by. At almost 18 months, it is amazing to watch her grow up and learn so fast. The picture above she was very intrigued by her pockets. She just figured them out.

I guess I take for granted all the multi-tasking things I do, and even pockets. Some things in life are so simple, that you forget once you had to learn them.

Matt

None of you know Matt. Ed did. Matt Franks was Ed's best friend in college, and sadly one day an Asthma attack took him from this world too soon.

Ed would explain Matt, a lot like himself, a nice guy, and your life was bettered by Matt being in it. Sadly I never met Matt, but he does have a twin sister, that I am proud to call my friend. I have had the pleasure of getting to know Tammy, her husband Todd, and there very handsome little man Mason.

They are the nicest people ever. The live about an hour and twenty minutes away, so maybe every few months we get together.

Back to Matt. Yesterday we went to the Frank's home, on the north side. It was packed with people there to remember Matt, see pictures (lots of pictures) donate teddy bears to a hospital (lots of teddy bears) and just enjoy family and friends, as I guess Matt would want.

It has been 10 years since Matt passed away. I have known Ed for 9. I have met lots of different friends from Eastern Illinois University, that were a part of Ed and Matt's life. I am proud to say I am a part of these people now.

At least we know we have one more angel watching over us.

Week 15!

Fetal development in pregnancy week 15:fetus in fourth month Your nearly four-inch long gymnast is happily mobile inside your womb and if you're really lucky, you’ll notice a point when your sneezing, coughing or laughing results in a little kick here or a poke there. Still, many women don't feel anything until the 17th week or later. Although the poking and kicking isn't very charming during sleeping hours, it’s a good sign as it means your baby is actually reacting to outside events. Yay! You’ve got yourself one active healthy baby!

Their little elbows and knees are bending more freely this week and their little legs are finally growing longer than their arms and getting pumped up for prenatal Richard Simmons. Many of their major organ systems are increasing in capacity—particularly that amazing tiny heart and complex circulation system, which is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood per day, and will increase to a very impressive 200 quarts per day by the end of the pregnancy. As far as hair goes, we’ve got some new scalp patterns beginning to develop on the head, although actual head hair is not yet present.


And how's mom doing? Have your cheeks been rosier lately? (No, no, no-- we’re asking about your face.) Are you feeling especially radiant? This famed “glow” is brought to you courtesy of the pregnancy fairy who has waved her magical “rosy tinge wand” over you.

Seriously though, your body is experiencing an increase in be aware that increased blood flow might cause your blood vessels to expand, resulting in a series of not-so-magical nosebleeds blood flow and you probably do have flushed skin and cheeks. Just be aware that increased blood flow might cause your blood vessels to expand, resulting in a series of not-so-magical nosebleeds for some women, which although perfectly normal, are a bit gory if you’ve got a day job. If you find the nosebleeds especially irritable, consider purchasing a humidifier to ward off future nose bleeds. Also, do your best to avoid irritants, such as aerosols, smoke, and dust..

Even though the placenta is regulating your babe’s hormones, you are still producing additional estrogen, which often causes swelling of the mucosa membranes, leaving you with a stuffy nose—potentially throughout the duration of the pregnancy. These are just a few of the charming physical experiences you can chalk up to the pregnancy fairy!

Busy Bug!

I am crazy busy with stuff to do, lets go back to Wednesday...

Wednesday
5:00 pm Stamp Camp, ack! This was a Christmas Card Buffet, they made 15 cards (4 of each design and 3 of another design) for $20.00. This is an insane amount of paper to cut and stuff in envelopes. All day was prepping for class, then class itself lasted until 10:00 pm. I was zonked!

Thursday
ALL day at Rush St. Luke's in Chicago for Susie's appointments. We had 2 this time. One at 10:00 am with an ENT (ear, nose and throat) doctor. And then a 12:00 pm with her neurologist Dr. V.

Friday
9:30 am Dr. appt for me and baby. Then this afternoon I will be heading over to my mom's for her Gold Canyon Candle party. (yeah!) I am spending the night (with Mia!)

Saturday
Wake up from my moms and head home, at 1:00 pm I have Dominique's baby shower (yeah!) then Ed works the video store from 11:00 am- 2:00 pm, hopefully he will nap. Then at 5:00 we have to be up on the northside of Chicago, for a memorial for his best friend from collage, Matt.

Sunday
Stare at the wall and do nothing until the amazing race comes on at 7.

Next week...
Jen is on vacation, I would like to go to the art museum with her sometime during her vacation, I have Stamp Camp again on Wednesday (no I am not nuts, this one requires no prep work) then Friday (Happy Birthday Jen!!) I have a card swap at the Scrapbook Junction with my mom from 6:30 to 8:30 pm. (I should probably start working on them, 12 cards!) Then Saturday my mom and me, and Mi are possibly meeting Patsy and Danielle for the Christmas Crossroads in Lockport. Monday is my Stampin' Up! meeting (I am working on my 16 cards for that swap too)

Then there is Thanksgiving and don't even get me started on December!! I need a nap!

Dr. Day today!

So I had my November check up with one of my Dr.'s today. I get to see two.

I am doing OK on my weight, I have gained 8 lbs so far, I don't watch what I eat, I am trying to eat some healthy things (not counting the mnm's I am eating right now!) It was a quick visit, Mia was confused by the nurse taking my blood pressure. Then we got to hear the heartbeat, it was 150's, Dr. said baby was wide away. He did say I should be feeling fluttering, yeah! cuz I have!! Then Dr. had me lay down, and he moved my pant leg and my socks. I asked if he was checking what kind of fun socks I had on. (I thought Ed was going to die laughing) he said no, he was checking to see if my ankles had swollen at all. (they were bad with Mia) he said they were good. What an air head, whatever brain cells, Mia didn't take this baby sure has!!

Then I had to go over to the other office (across the parking lot) to get blood drawn, (dun, dun, duuuun) I hate that. It was for the triple screen (or quad screen) The quad marker screen determines if a woman is at higher or lower risk of carrying a baby with a birth defect. This means that some women with healthy babies will have screening results indicating a possible problem (and will be offered appropriate follow-up testing) while some women whose babies have birth defects will go undetected.
Because of the uncertainties surrounding the test result, many people opt to not have it.

What Happens During the Test?
During the quad marker screen, a sample of blood is taken from your vein. Substances in the blood sample are measured to screen for:
Problems in the development of the fetus' brain and spinal cord, called open neural tube defects. The quad marker screen can predict approximately 75-80% of open neural tube defects.

Genetic disorders such as Down syndrome, a chromosomal abnormality. The quad marker screen can predict approximately 75% of Down syndrome cases in women under age 35 and over 80% of Down syndrome cases in women age 35 years and older.

So that is a little FYI on the test I just took, there is no harm to the baby, because it was just blood drawn from mom. (ouch) Not so bad the lady didn't even warn me I was babbling (shocker) about how much I had having my blood drawn, and she stabbed me. It was fast. (Just one vile today)

SO I know you are wondering when I go back to see what we are having....December 17th. Yes I wanted to know before we went to Arizona, but he said I might not be able to see that early, so we will wait. We get back on the 15th, so it won't be to long of a wait. Just glad I get to know before Christmas!!

That day (the 17th) will be crazy!!
9:00 am Mia has an appt. with her Dr. for her 18 month check up
Then I think we will all go to breakfast
10:30-11:00 am I have to drink 32 oz of water, and hold it
12:00pm my ultrasound!
1:30pm my appt with Dr.
6:30 pm my Stampin' Up! Christmas party!!

Crazy! So that is the Dr. update for everyone, baby is good, and moving a lot! I can't wait to see him/her next month!!