Happy, friendly, outgoing, helpful these are all words that describe me. That is what I see in me, but my mom recently told me I have a very strong personality and I intimidate people (little ol me?) So maybe instead of Happy you see obnoxious? Instead of friendly I'm nosey? Not so outgoing just annoying? Helpful is maybe seen as a know-it-all?
Well maybe that's what you see. I guess I always wanted to be just an all around happy-go-lucky type of girl, who's sees the glass half full and optimistic about the future. But as I get older (30 in 4 weeks) I have been hurt by friends and family. I usually forgive, knowing that I have said a few wrong things in my life, and error is human. But some ex-friends have taken it to far, and talked to much shit about me, before realizing that I didn't even say what they thought I did. Some owe me money, and act as if I should just forget it since it was 10 years ago. And some just don't like me for who I am.
Family members have hurt my mom. Not one, but two uncles (one her brother and one my dad's brother) and her sister. Have wrongly come right out and blamed my mom for other's lives, and sworn right in her face. I thought there was a golden rule of "don't mess with nobodies mamma" it takes one time and one time only of messing with my mom for me to write you off. Those people and situations make me harder then I want to come across as.
Even as my sister, Susie's, Dystonia got worse and more noticeable to the public I would get SO defensive to anyone that even looked at her. I learned to handle it better, and carry little information cards on Dystonia, and give them to people, and tell them this is what she has, so they understand.
The funny thing is my best friend Jen. I always thought she was just like me, but harder on the outside... come to realize we are both the same... she is a little more pessimistic, or realistic. But she has had a much harder life then me, so I can't blame her, sometimes.
But I am learning in my life that it is WAY to short to change for the happiness or the acceptance of others. I am what I am. If you don't get me, you don't have too, I don't get me either.
Just know to converse with me, you will always get an honest answer. So if your offended easily, don't ask me about politics, religion, or gay rights. I stand where I stand. Some of the topics I am SO strongly opinionated about some topics and could care less to discuss another.
I am opinionated and love to discuss anything with people, I try to keep an open mind so I can teach my kids you shouldn't judge a person by there looks. And I want to know and learn about other people and there lives, knowing that we all do things different, I just can't stand those that judge me because I don't live the same lifestyle they do.
I guess I get offended when I am judged before someone knows me. If you want to know where I stand, ask. I will tell you, then after that if you still don't like me. Fine, just glad your judging me with the right information.
As Lady Soverign would say... "Love me or hate me it's still an obsession, love me or hate me that is the question." Love me or Hate me
And as P!nk would say... "So I'll cash my checks and place my bets, And hope I'll always win Even if I don't I'm ***ked because I live a life of sin. But it's alright I don't give a damn I don't play your rules I make my own." Cuz I Can
