Hair Brush

Ed and I spent the last night of his time off watching a movie, with Alex in his bouncer near by. Alex started to cry, and I broke down knowing that Ed is going back to nights and I will be back on my own again.

Ed's been on nights for 3 1/2 years now. I still have a hard time with it. I miss him, I miss sleeping next to someone. I hate the fact that other people get to sleep by there husbands, boyfriends, fiance's, it's not fair to me. And it's bullshit and I get angry about it. Just imagine your sig. other, 5 days a week not sleeping with you. The other 2 days, he is still on grave yard mode, so he is up till about 4 watching t.v. I can handle the kids at night by myself. I just don't wanna.

I curled up in Ed's lap and threw myself a boo hoo pity party. Then he did the sweetest thing. He took the hair comb from my hair, and brushed my hair, for the next two hours till I fell asleep. That really meant alot that he did that and I didn't have to ask.

I know it makes him just as sad to be going back to work. That he will be working or sleeping through all this. But this is our life that we live, and I just try to enjoy the sweet gestures, like the hair brushing, that's what gets me through the day...