Twins? Yesterday? Uncomfortable?

Right. If I hear any of the above again, I am going to scream.

No there are not twins in here. Oh really your a mom too. And you had the balls to ask me that? How nice of you.

Due yesterday? No ass tart, May. And oh the reaction I get from the fact that I still have 3 months and I am the size of a house. I AM 5 FEET TALL. Where did you want to put all this baby?!?

Uncomfortable? No shit. Let me strap 27 lbs to the front of you, squeeze the shit out of your bladder, shove some legs up your rib cage, squish your lungs so you can't breathe. Oh and the other funness (yes that is a new word) of being blurry eyed in my right eye, sometimes, braxton hicks contracts suck already, charlie horses every morning, numbness in my arms, bloody noses, itchy belly, who knows what my legs look like, the peeing every 2 hours at night, the cotton mouth really sucks, oh and don't forget my favorite "sneeze and a miss" that's when we sneeze and piss ourselves. So um yeah, I'm uncomfortable.

Don't even get me started on the mood swings. The whole, non empathetic people, who just think I am dramatic. I AM PREGNANT, and my hormones are insanly out of wack. But god forbid. It's probably just an excuse to be a bitch. So be it. Rawr it is. Enjoy it, because I probably won't be "normal" Jacki until August.

And yes I do believe that there is 4 trimesters. Not 3. It takes a good 3 more months after the baby is born. To get myself back somewhat, physically. And mentally is just as crazy, from just adjusting that you just gave birth to a HUMAN being. And you have to take care of it, listen to everyone's advise, wanting it or not. And be supermom. Yes post partum is real, I had it. I don't want it again. Just not something you can turn off.

You just need sympathetic, empathetic, and compassionite people around you. Good luck.

I am so over this. Let's get this show on a road! It's going to be a long winter, so brace yourselves. I am one big ball of sarcastic sunshine.