You don't get me.

No one gets me. I guess I don't get me.

I don't want to talk about it. I barely want to blog about it. But I think I will feel better if I do.

I am SO tired of being pregnant. I am normally happy and energetic. I am now sluggish and depressed or psycho bitchy.

I am truly tired of people NOT getting that my HORMONES are FUCKED UP. I can NOT control my mood swings. So if I cry for 20 minutes or I freak out and scream at the dog until I piss myself. Please don't get mad at me. It makes me worse.

It sucks that some people pretend to get me, or just humor me. But I guess for there safety and my sanity that is fine. Pretend that it's all fine. Whatever.

I am pissy, angry, moody, depressed, tired, lethargic, unable to make a normal decisions to save my life. My anxiety goes through the roof at just a simple bark or a "Ma". This whole pregnancy was just like Mia's, but now I don't remember being so mentally fucked with hers.

The best part is, no one gets it. Most of the time it's an excuse that I am making up. Like I enjoy being a spaz. Or freaking over nothing. NOT! Yes let me give myself Braxtons, because those are so enjoyable, and when I scream and yell, I get them. But I must do it because I want to?!? No because I can't control myself from yelling and screaming. That is usually the calmer of me. The real spaz ass, probably would have broken or thrown something.

I really think I am going to say fuck the whole breastfeeding thing. Because I know that was the main stress of my Post Partum Depression I had with Mia. I am so OVER being depressed. This shit is annoying. I want to be happy, but it's not easy when people around me are sad, or depressed. Or angry because I am sad or depressed. Maybe I just need some fucking empathy.

Uh oh, there she goes using the word Empathy, I should just say sympathy. Whichever. I don't get either. Pitty Party for one please.

I am tired of ALWAYS being the empathetic one. Well guess what, now I feel sorry for...

JACKI. and JACKI only. Leave me alone. Don't care who said what, don't care who doesn't want to talk to me anymore, DO NOT CARE.

LEAVE ME ALONE. If I want to cry and boo hoo my own pity party for the next few days I will. Or maybe just this post will do it.

Either way, I don't care, I don't wanna talk about it. PLEASE DON'T ASK ME. I don't want your pity, empathy, sympathy, or stories about how much you care. It just seems to make me feel shittier. Don't ask I don't get it either. Just fair warning.

The only person I want to talk to about it. Is mad because they don't get me. Read a friggin' book. Google it. I am sure there is something online about it.

It's called...I AM PREGNANT. I CAN NOT CONTROL WHAT I FEEL. MY MOUTH FILTER IS BROKEN. Yes I am a dramatic spaz all the time, pregnant or not. BUT I can and have controled myself. Now I can not.

So please don't shit in my cornflakes, I will probably take the bowl, dump it over your head, and then beat you with the bowl, and shove the spoon up your ass.

If only you would take the time to understand me. You seem to understand when people are physical sick. Why not mentally? Why not me? It's too bad I say I'm sorry, for being the way I am. I shouldn't be sorry. It's not my fault. I just need a fucking hug from you. And a soothing voice. Maybe some ice cream and a time out too.

Oh well. I don't ask for much, I don't have a nanny, housekeeper, or money. I just want to be understood. I guess that is too much to ask. Sorry. Again.