How hard can one person wish?

I just read in a weekly pregnancy that no matter how hard you wish to go into labor, it just doesn't work that way.

I REALLY want to give birth. Now. Not now but now. Like yesterday now. I slept better last night. At least 2 hours of sleep at one point before I woke up to pee again. Otherwise it was about an hour to an hour and a half. And it's crazy, I don't zombie walk to the bathroom either. I am WIDE awake. Which sucks, take lots of will power not to go online, or watch T.V. I am motivated by the fact that there is a 22 month old that will be up around 7:30 am and I should go back to sleep.

I see Dr. Lim again today. 1:20. I really want to hear that I am dilated more, and maybe some miracle while doing the exam he could push the magical "labor start" button.

Again depending on what due date we are going by, May 2nd my original, I have 2 weeks and a day. If we go by my new due date (as of the ultra sound last month) April 26th, I have 1 week and 2 days. Still too far for me.

I do want to talk about how I have realized everyday. That this is my last pregnancy, we only wanted 2 kids. And I am trying to enjoy (as much as I can) the last few weeks of being pregnant. Of having Alex all to myself, feeling him move, and realizing that I, again, have created life inside me.

It's a total mind fuck when you think about it. I mean, I grew a human! There is a person in my belly. I can't wait to meet him.

It's great that we have the "American Dream" kids. One boy and one girl. As long as they are healthy that is all that matters. I know that having a girl was my dream. Again the healthy thing was first on my mind. But having a little me is a dream come true. Mia is everything I was, and more. She is smart, pretty, and knows so much already.

Alex, is going to be great. I hope he is just like his dad. Smart, handsome, patient, caring and sweet like my Ed. Also hoping for dark hair like his dads. Blue or brown eyes, either or.

With Alex I need to remember to enjoy the baby moments. I did with Mia but didn't realize how fast they fly by! She is already a toddler to me. She talks in pretty full sentences, asks questions, understands what I say. Knows the alphabet song (not very clear yet, but not to shabby for a 22 month old)

As much as I want this pregnancy to be over, I am enjoying the last few days I have left. Conserving what little energy I have, and trying to cherish this time in my life.

I can't wait for the next part to begin. Enjoying the family that Ed and I have created, getting my body back, and getting my energy back so I can attempt to be the super mom that my mom was.

So I will be wishing strongly all week for Mr. Alexander Edward to make his appearance. Until then, I wait. Uncomfortable, sore back, lack of sleep, twitchy eye, numb limbs, foot in ribs, weird mark by my eye, no energy body. Any energy I do get goes, to Mia, the house, Ed and the dogs and cats.

I need a bath...