Watching a sleeping angel

Mia 3 days old. Mia 25 months old

At 12:56 am I quietly enter your room. I turned the hall light on so I can see you, but not so bright as to wake you.

I just needed to see you. To watch you breathe, and to see you grow.

As I watch you, laying on your stomach, head to the side, with crazy long blonde curls across your face. One foot off the edge of the bed. I wipe your hair away from your face, and watch you dream.

What I see is 27 months of amazing life in front of me. I can also look at you and remember the angel baby that I would watch sleep in her crib, crawl, play giggle and dance. And as I sit on the floor by your bed, my mind fast forwards to a teenager, tired from a long day at school, stress of friends and school work finally gave way to sleep. It's crazy I know. But I wonder how your life will be as your grow through all the stages of your life.

I wonder if you will ever know, or even begin to understand what it is you do to me. I thought I had it all before you. I was happy, and content. And I knew my baby would bring me joy. But never to the extent that you have given to me. No one could have explained it to me. Just as no one can explain it in words what a child does to it mother.

I could go on forever, on feelings of love, and joy. But the fact is, you just don't get it, no matter how hard you try. Until the day the nurse handed you to me, and I look and realize, you are mine. And I am yours. My life has purpose, and that is to make your life everything it can be.

To never stop loving and teaching you about life, and how much I can love you. Maybe someday. When you have your own child. And you watch them sleep. You then will remember this. And know that what you are feeling as you look down at your own, that is what I feel for you.

Mia Nicole. I love you. More and more each day, you may not think I can love any more then I do today, but every second that goes by, I love you even more.

Thank you for being you. For wearing pink snow boots, and your Burger King paper crown, all while we create in our Art Room. For loving the art room as I always hoped you would. For climbing in your wagon, and helping me pull weeds, and pick flowers. For loving gardening as I always hoped you would. And hopefully one day you will teach me something new to learn and enjoy, just like I teach you everything that I love and enjoy.

I love you, for sitting on the kitchen counter, and helping me whisk the eggs for daddy's omelets. Or for helping me feed the cats each morning. Out of all the plants I grow, omelets I make, or projects I create. The most accomplished thing in my life is watching you. Watching you become who you are today. From the helpless infant. To a baby, that was forever learning and growing. Then now to a toddler, who is so smart, and witty, and... perfect.

Ah, I get it now. I get why mom's are so proud of there children, and why there child is the most perfect child on this planet. Other mom's will just shake there head. Knowing that it's there child that is the perfect child. And there are the other people. The people that do not have children. They may try to understand the reasoning behind such thoughts, to wonder who really thinks that? I mean, perfect is such a strong word.

But when you see something, that you have created. And it is smart, beautiful and everything you have ever dreamed of. Then you know that you have created your own perfection. That is my Mia. Perfection to me. The perfect angel girl, who is strong, funny, loud, bossy, sassy, brave, and never seems afraid to try. To me that is perfect.

I love you more then words can speak, more then there are stars in the sky and grains of sand in the sea. I love you to all of eternity.

Always and forever,

Mommy